Support areas

I support people with a diverse range of experiences. Here are the main areas I work with:

Exploring and prioritising pleasure & intimacy

Pleasure and intimacy, both non-sexual and sexual can be experienced in many forms; emotional, mental, physical, spiritual and relational. Pleasure and intimacy is for everybody in every kind of body who wants it. Access to pleasure information is every individual’s right and can be a valuable focus in session.

For some, pleasure, intimacy, sex and sexuality only exist in the presence of shame and guilt. It may feel awkward and unsettling to talk about, and pleasure may be perceived as unsafe or inaccessible. People may seek sexual support to explore, unpack and challenge these beliefs. For others, pleasure may feel out of reach and they may seek therapy to enhance their pathways to, or reclaim their right for pleasure.

Common pleasure topics or pathways you may want to explore in sex therapy (not limited to): 

  • The benefits of pleasure and space to explore what pleasure could look like and feel like for you

  • Developing curiosity and capacity to be present in your body-mind to access pleasure

  • Embodied practices to expand your window of tolerance and creating safety for pleasure and intimacy

  • Neuroscience of pleasure (polyvagal theory & neuroplasticity)

  • Understanding the relationship between pleasure, danger, safety and control

  • Exploring the connection between pleasure restriction and sociocultural stereotypes, biases and oppression

  • Recognising and unpacking internalised oppression as it relates to pleasure, intimacy and your identities

  • Reflecting on pleasure as a form of resistance and a means of challenging systems and structures of oppression

  • Expanding your window of tolerance and moving towards pleasure (in any or all forms)

  • Enhancing your sexual wellbeing by building upon your established skills and strengths to recognise, prioritise and focus on your pleasure

  • Creating your own definition of pleasure and sex

  • Unpacking and addressing your feelings, beliefs, attitudes and messages about pleasure, sex and sexuality in the context of familial, sociocultural and political systems, and the systemic barriers that restrict pleasure   

  • Experiencing solo pleasure and intimacy outside of your relationships

  • Communicating your pleasure needs, wants, consent and boundaries with others  

  • Enhancing knowledge around orgasm and effective ways of experiencing orgasmicity

  • Exploring barriers and obstacles that get in the way of orgasmicity

  • Understanding traumatic, distressing or unsatisfying sexual, pleasure or orgasmic related experiences

Desire and arousal challenges 

Discrepancies or distress associated with desire and arousal are some of the most common sexual and relational difficulties. This may include having a lower, limited or no sexual desire, experiencing less desire than you once did, feeling anxious when aroused in certain contexts or experiencing a relational incongruence in sexual desire, goals, wants and needs.

These experiences may result in increased conflict, resentment, feelings of isolation, indifference, hurt, shame or guilt. Sex therapy can support individuals and partner(s) through a range of areas.  

Common desire/arousal topics or pathways you may want to explore in sex therapy (not limited to): 

  • Develop a comprehensive understanding of desire and arousal, exploring why you (or your partner(s)) might not feel like having sex

  • Exploring the interaction between your autonomic nervous system and your experience of desire, arousal and pleasure

  • Exploring and unpacking your fantasies, the things that bring you pleasure and how these factors could be impacting desire and arousal

  • Becoming curious about whether the sexual experiences you’re having are the kind of experiences that you want to be having and actually feel good to you

  • Communication issues about desire, arousal or pleasure that leave you feeling stuck, isolated or angry with partner(s) or self

  • Identifying underlying feelings, thoughts, meaning and needs related to differences in desire

  • Recognising and unpacking internalised oppression as it relates to relationship expectations, needs and wants

  • Finding new ways to relate, connect, be sexual or experience pleasure with yourself and your partner(s)

  • Navigating and negotiating differences in desire, when one partner wants more or less sex than the other(s)

  • Expressing and respecting needs, wants, consent and boundaries

  • Holding space for shame, rage, grief and loss, enhancing your emotional literacy and recognising how your emotions relate to desire, arousal and pleasure

Anxiety, fear and shutdown around sex and intimacy

I support people who experience anxious or fearful activation that gets in the way of sex and intimacy

Common topics or pathways you may want to explore (not limited to):

  • Exploring and expanding capacity for curiosity about your fear, anxiety or emotional activation

  • Understanding emotional activation from a neuroscience perspective

  • Embodied practices to check in with yourself, recognise triggers and factors that contribute to an unpleasant emotion response

  • Explore the neuroscience of nervous system activation through polyvagal theory.

  • Expand your window of tolerance by resourcing and using self and co-regulation to create safety and agency

  • Embodied practices to expand your window of tolerance and creating safety for sex, pleasure and intimacy

  • Communicating your needs, wants, boundaries or other experiences within your relationships

  • Examining the systemic barriers that lead us to fear or feel anxious around sex and intimacy

  • Space to explore feelings, beliefs, attitudes and messages about sex and intimacy that may or may not be serving you

Unwanted sexual pain, pelvic pain or genital pain  

I work with people who experience genital pain, pelvic pain or any other form of painful sex that may impact their pleasure, sexuality and wellbeing. Our work together will enhance compassion, be non-judgmental and non-dismissive.

Common pain topics or pathways you may want to explore (not limited to):  

  • Exploring ways to increase your health, body literacy and increasing knowledge of the mind-body connection

  • Exploring and unpacking the factors and experiences that might contribute to your pain and recognising how these intersect with your sexuality and experiences

  • Examining the psychological, emotional, relational and social factors that might be intertwined with your experience of sexual pain or discomfort

  • Exploring, expanding and redefining sex and pleasure for yourself

  • Exploring and practising strategies to decrease or manage pelvic, genital or sexual pain and discomfort

  • Developing skills to hold space and feel your feelings that may contribute to pelvic or gential pain and associated distress

  • Becoming curious about other ways to experience pleasure and/or be sexual in the presence of chronic pain

  • Making space for the difficult feelings and possibility that pain may not completely resolve

  • Increasing your access to accurate information, resources and other support services  

  • Learning to recognise your experiences of grief assocaited with pain, pleasure, sexuality and relationships; holding space for grief and loss; and honouring your grief through mourning

  • Unpacking the “cure” mindset and expectations, and exploring the practice of acceptance and self-kindness

Navigating pleasure, sex and sexuality with a chronic illness or disability

I support people who have a chronic illness and who are disabled and want to navigate pleasure, their sexual experiences, their relationships and their sexuality, as well as dealing with challenges from being disabled or chronically ill in an ableist, oppressive society.

Common topics or pathways you may want to explore (not limited to):

  • Understanding, exploring and navigating your experiences of pleasure, sex and sexuality with a chronic illness or disability  

  • Becoming curious about your body, noticing the feelings and sensations that move through it and letting that guide you towards trust, neutrality or positivity with your body

  • Understanding the impact of ableism, oppression and trauma on your relationship with pleasure, sex, sexuality and your mind-body connection

  • Recognising and challenging internalised ableism and oppression in your belief systems, hopes and experiences

  • Exploring, expanding or redefining sex and pleasure

  • Communicating your needs, wants, consent, boundaries or other experiences within your relationships

  • Examining the systemic barriers that limit access to sexuality and pleasure information or that make it difficult to feel like you’re a sexual person who has a right to pleasure

  • Feelings, beliefs, attitudes and messages about being a disabled person and/or having a chronic illness and your experience of pleasure and sexuality, in the context of social, political, economic and familial systems

  • Making space to feel all your feelings and grieve changes in your body, your experiences, pleasure and sexuality, as well as enhancing your grief literacy

Have another pleasure or sexual topic you want to discuss?